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Monday I met with a group of writers for a plotting party. One of the conversations we had was, “Don’t be a doormat.” It had to do with a writer struggling to get a contract and jumping through hoops. So we talked about how as ‘business people’ we have to set limits and walk away when the time comes. And we should all know ahead of time what that limit is.
Perhaps the reason the industry treats us like crap is because we let them. We want people to like what we’ve created so badly, it overwhelms our good sense and judgment.
If you let people walk all over you, they will. Since many of us wrestle with insecurities, we also have to realize that these get in our way of making sound and practical business and career decisions.
Anyway, the conversation fired me up to tend to some business of my own this week that was becoming a thorn. I transformed from mild-mannered author to pain-in-the-ass-I’ll-ruin-your-day-week-career-businesswoman. And I’m glad I did.
If you contract for services and business, be a professional, and demand those you do business with behave like a professional. This includes keeping clients / partners informed and being in constant communication. This includes carrying out your promises in a timely fashion.
Whatever it may mean to you, someone else does not see their business as a game or hobby to be toyed with by excuses and lameness. It took that conversation to remind me that I was behaving like a doormat and it was inexcusable. In the corporate world, I never would have taken that crap. Never. So I’m not going to take it in this business either. And I suggest you don’t.
Can you tell I was pissed off when I wrote this?
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Imaginary Friends with Annalisa Crawford
Annalisa Crawford is hosting the imaginary friends bloghop today.
I didn’t really have an imaginary friend, but I had an imaginary stable. At barely 8 years old, I started horseback riding and it was a love affair that lasted throughout my youth. I had many lovely books of horses, and I would give them names and put them in my stable. I drew detailed layouts of my mega ranch with many barns, pastures, and pens. I don’t think there was a house. But what does a house matter?
[a pencil drawing I did as a teenager - horses were about the only thing I could draw]
When I wasn’t with real horses, I kept my imaginary horses with me. One I named Wesco and I even wrote a short story about him. What imaginary friends kept you company when you were young?
Celebrate the Small Things
Every Friday, Vicklit of Scribblings of an Aspiring Author hosts the celebrate the small things blog hop.
My old kitties remain healthy and happy. If my girls are happy, so am I.
I met with some author friends Monday night for a plotting party and enjoyed some great company and shop talk.
I’m grateful my brain still works and comes up with new ideas. During my lull, I came up with a new series idea and a new novel. All I need is the time to write them.
I’m also happy the Husband Unit is well and healthy. And he still listens to me jabber on about my books. Everyday.
Tomorrow I’m helping to judge a 4th grade writing contest. Can’t wait to read the entries from our future colleagues.
Boomtown came back from the editor as promised. My lull is over. I enjoyed it while it lasted. But I’m also happy to be that much closer to getting my next book out. I’m aiming for March 4th.
And SQEEEE! My shiny, new book covers have arrived. :D :D :D
Have a great weekend everybody!
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That drawing is awesome, Mary – I wish I could draw. I can relate to you creating stables, I used to do the same with boarding schools. It was during my Chalet School phase! Thanks for taking part in the bloghop :-)
I could tell you were fired up. Yes, we do tend to relinquish all control in the name of getting published. I agree. No doormats!
Don’t let anyone walk over you, Mary!
Nice job with the pen and ink.
And the covers rock! The Backworlds one looks as professional as any you’d see in a bookstore from a big publisher.
If that’s the only thing you could draw, you did it very well! I imagine horses make for excellent imaginary companions.
And those are excellent covers! Congrats!
Love the covers. And you can draw. Gasp. I’d love be able to get beyond doodling, but I guess that’s not to be.
On the doormat issue, you’re so right. I think many of us start out bending backwards trying to please publishers for so long that it becomes ingrained in us. A blogging buddy of mine did sooooo many revisions for a major publisher – all to no avail. But you know what? She got tired of it, launched her MG series herself and has done very well with it. I’m taking small, steady footsteps in that direction too. As they say, if you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything.
I am too proud to let anyone step on me, no matter how bad I want something, never gets that bad.
That’s an excellent sketch, you’re very talented. And it sounds like you had a very good week. Good for you!
WooHoo! for the covers. :-)
I think we’re all different in how we come at things when someone screws us over. But the important thing is, as you say, don’t let it continue to happen.
My personal way of handling things in business is: 1) I’m always as nice as I can be and try not to burn bridges. 2) If you wrong me, I’ve usually given you every chance to make it right. If that doesn’t happen, I cut you out of my dealings and you never come back. Ever.
I ran into some issues publishing my first eBook. I paid for a service, and even after several re-workings, the results were substandard. I didn’t throw a fit (because that never does much good working with strangers on the internet I’ve found), but I’ll never use that person again, have wiped their names from all of my work, and will tell any author who asks me privately not to use their service.
Perhaps that’s passive aggressive, but I think that’s how the business world works. You often only get one chance to establish your good name with people, and it’s not up to the customer to make the experience is a good one, it’s up to the person providing the service. I think authors especially understand this principle. :)
That is an amazing picture for a teenager to draw! I couldn’t manage that as an adult. How talented you are!! I love riding horses too-
I agree about being professional even in the writing business. Good for you for changing that tide for yourself.
Love the covers!
*fist in the air* Yay for taking a stand! The doormat thing is why I decided to go indie in the first place.
Your drawing is beautiful! I had a love affair with horses and riding too, only I collected those plastic paliminos since I couldn’t draw them.
Judging a 4th grade writing contest sounds like so much fun. :)
Both covers are gorgeous!
That sounds like fun, Annalisa
Live and learn, Brinda. I’ve learned.
Professionals redid my covers, Alex. And I have resolved my issue. As much as I loved the result, I will not be working with that person again.
They made for lovely companions, Nick. The real ones, too.
My sister is the one with the talent in our family. I don’t claim to have any. I haven’t tried to draw in a long time, so I would probably stink at it now, Joy. Yeah, we were talking about that on Monday, about the point where you need to walk away.
Good for you, Al. Yes, it did turn out to be a good week.
Well, when I’ve already paid someone [a lot of] money for a service that I’m not getting, EJ, I don’t see anything wrong with giving a strong push, or with making that person miserable by making a huge pest of myself until I get what I want and what I paid for.
No, not really talented, Jay. I had an advertising class at NYU when I lived in NY. An artist dude usually sat next to me. His assessment, I was better than average, but I was no artist. And I agree.
It taught me a lesson, Summer. One I won’t forget.
I used to collect horses, too, Laura. Ceramic and glass. Most had broken legs. I think I kept a few. I’m looking forward to reading the entries tomorrow, Laura. I figure it will be a blast.
I’m glad you didn’t let yourself remain a doormat.
The covers are wonderful, and I love the drawing you did when you were a teen.
YES! I agree with “Don’t be a doormat!”
Here in Utah, there’s a lot of writing talent. You would be surprised at how many writers here are agented and are waiting for their book to sell. They are also (by admission) terrified to contact their agent.
That pissed me off.
I told one girl, “Your agent WORKS for you. She is your employee and is taking 15% of your take on whatever your novel makes. NEVER be afraid of your agent. The fact that she signed you means that you have the chops to get another one if you so want and can kick her to the curb. If you have a question, you call or email her and ask that question. Don’t be a doormat!”
Mary, it’s always such a treat to come and read your blog. You inspire me, make me think, and get me back into the groove of writing and taking care of business.
Love your new covers! And I agree that we shouldn’t let ourselves be treated like doormats but it’s easy to slide into that . . .I get so terrified that people won’t like my writing, and then I realize, wait – I love my story concept, I’ve worked hard at it, and I need to be proud of the work I’ve done and not treat myself or my work like a doormat.
Thanks for the reminder, Mary!
LOVE the new covers!! Totally awesome and so eye-catching. Yay!
And I love that you had an imaginary stable. How cool!
I’m ready to go kick some butt after reading your rant. Not anyone’s butt in particular, but just someone. :D
I can’t believe how amazing that drawing is!
Thanks for being part of the bloghop! :D
Another great cover! Congratulations and now get back to work. No rest for authors or the wicked, either.
Wow, that’s a full post. Lots of good stuff. Definitely agree about the doormat comments. I’ve seen people get taken over and over in their pursuit to publication by thinking they had no leverage. They take crap deals or even PAY to get published. It’s very sad.
But the book covers are gorgeous! And that is such a cool drawing of the Pegasus.
Great drawing and love the covers!
I’m glad your brain still works, that’s always a good thing lol
Don’t be a doormat? I like it!
There’s a big difference between a hobby and a job. You have a right to get mad.
Wow never heard of a plot party before – that sound like so much fun!!! And love the book cover. What a lovely day it will be when I get my first cover :)
Mary: There comes a time to pull out all the stops and start expecting people to own up to their own stuff. I had to fire my editor because of all the excuses and then, when I received my ms back, I had to fix her mistakes! Don’t put up with it! It’s not professional.
I may be a part time writer, but I want my work to be my best. And it won’t be with others screwing it up.
Sorry, I also get a little hot under the collar.
Congrats on standing up for yourself, and on your great list of celebrations! What BEAUTIFUL covers!
I’m glad the covers came out, Cherie. Have a great time at your conference this weekend.
I completely agree with you, Michael. Getting the agent and not selling the ms is more common than most think.
I’m glad to be of service, Tyrean. Let me know I can help when your book is ready. :)
Go, Julie! It fired me up, too. Husband Unit slinked away… lol
Have a great weekend, Kyra!
It is very sad, LG, and probably why the industry feels they can treat us like mats.
There is an enormous difference, Maurice. Even if it’s your hobby, it may not be your vendor’s or your client’s hobby.
That’s perfectly all right, Karen. Rant away. It’s an issue we should all discuss more.
Thanks, Vikki! Have a great weekend!
Great post and sound advice.
I love the covers!!!!! Awesome! I hear you. I had to light a fire under someone to get something I paid for. I guess we have to get tough at times. Good for you!
I met with writing friends this week also. It is the best!!! Husband units that listen to you jabber about books are great too :D
Hear, hear! on not being a doormat. Good for you on standing up and knowing your limits.
Congratulations on your new covers!
That’s an impressive drawing.
Your new covers are fantastic! Your drawing is spectacular too. I didn’t have an imaginary friend. Just lots of worlds going on in my head. They’re still there! Have a wonderful weekend.
Beautiful drawing! I’m a horse person, too. I love the idea of an imaginary stable full of horses!
Couldn’t agree more! Writers work for their income and we need to treat it like the profession it is. Our work is valuable, but so is our integrity. I’m glad you wrote this post. It’s an important reminder for all of us. Thank you!
It’s great to hear that your husband listens! So happy for you. And congrats on your new book. What a wonderful list of celebrations you have.
I’ve given it back to publishers, once or twice — once to a British University press which was very rude and unprofessional. I don’t care if I don’t publish traditionally if I have to compromise with my self-respect and my rights as a writer. We writers don’t get together and lobby like other professions — sometimes I believe we should!
–Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2013
Great looking covers. And not being a doormat would be tough for me. I know that going in. I’ll need to get someone to loan me a pair of… well, guts… before I negotiated anything.
It is, Beth. Have a good weekend.
I was lighting a fire, too, Ciara. It’s unfortunate, but, yes, sometimes we do have to get tough.
I agree, Jennifer, both are great.
I do love the new covers, Eagle. Thanks.
I had stories, too, Christine. They were always there.
It kept me busy for hours and hours, Rachel.
It is, MJ. It was a lesson learned this week.
Somedays more reluctantly, Nancy, but he does. Can’t wait to finish up the new book. :)
Sometimes I think so, too, Damyanti.
It’s good to know that ahead of time, Rusty.
That’s an amazing drawing of a horse! Most of my friends had imaginary horses, and I wanted one, but for some reason I had an imaginary lion hang around instead. He was grumpy and wouldn’t let me ride him.
Excellent advice. I am very good at being a door mat. Love the drawing. Horses are beautiful creatures, even if they do scare me. They seem so huge up close!
I don’t jump through hoops for anyone. I;m not a door mat! Besides, people who expect you to jump through their hoops will never take the initiative to help you or promote you.
I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I’m not sorry! Who needs them anyway when you have two younger sisters to blame for your pranks?
I really like the book covers and I must say that your imaginary horse seemed to have helped you with your drawing – I’t beautiful!
Mary, I love those new book covers!
Judging a 4th grade writing contest… what an experience… I can imagine all those cute stories… how on earth are you going to choose?
Thank you for that reminder to stand up for ourselves as authors!
And what great new covers you’ve got!
Love the new book covers Mary! ^^ They look great!
I had so many imaginary friends as a child I don’t think I could count them all, but I do remember my favorite was a thirty foot tall Tyrannosaurus cleverly named Rex. ^^ :)
Doormat not a good idea. I know sometimes I can be an old softie cause I want to believe the best about people. I hate getting taken advantage of when it happens.
Lee
Wrote By Rote
An A to Z Co-host blog
you go, woman!
i have a deadline in my head for getting a response, so far they have met it, but have come close! this last one, i had to nicely nudge & am glad i did because it was something they hadnt started yet (claimed i didnt send my stuff) so i sweetly resent & now we are moving forward. waiting idly by drives me nuts! just let me do it! but i must hold back and work on my patience (until the next deadline i set =)
we are our own best advocate!
An imaginary lion would be fun, Charmaine.
I can be very good at it, too, Elizabeth… until a point. Where it converges with other things. :) The first time I went to riding lessons, I wondered if my mother was trying to kill me. They are big.
I agree, Stephen. They’re takers. No one wants a one-sided relationship.
Adriana! Perhaps that’s why I didn’t have imaginary friends. I had a brother and younger sister to blame things on. Thank you! :)
I love the new covers, too, Michelle. Helping to judge the contest yesterday was a blast. We were the prelim judges. I have no idea how they’ll choose. It was a very fun way to spend the morning.
Hanging around with a group of authors is good for that reminder, Rachel. I do love the covers!
Me, too, Amanda! I love them. OK, next time I see you I’m going to ask more about these friends and Rex.
I’m the same, Arlee. But there’s a line for me, that once it’s crossed, I’m no longer a softie.
Whenever I have to do the nudging, Tara, I get nervous and lose confidence in that person being a professional. Seems like this is much too common. Seems like something we all need to discuss in more detail.
Good for you! Never be a doormat. It can be really hard to keep from being a doormat when you’re a creative professional–you’re right–but it’s a really important thing to do! Again, good for you :)
You definitely need to set limits and decide what they are in advance.
Good advice. Assertiveness is useful, and with diplomacy, you can get the results you want. It helps to be informed so that you can back up your position with facts.
That’s a great Pegasus drawing (it is a Pegasus isn’t it?)
Thank you! As it happens, I recently saw the Sherlock Holmes exhibit the Toronto Public Library had on, and they included some letters Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote to his publisher. Maybe it was just the selection they had, but a lot fo them said something to the effect of, “Got your review notes — thank you, but you’re totally wrong. Instead, I’m going to do THIS with the story.”
I was gobsmacked. Every piece of advice I’d ever heard about receiving editing notes has pretty much said “do what you’re told, or else you’re the jerk, not the publisher.”
Of course this extends far beyond editing text. Your blog post is a great reminder that it takes at least two sides to create a contract.
It is, Faith.
I agree, Tonja.
I’m glad it worked out in the end, DG. It’s tough when you spend good money for a service not received as needed. Yes, the drawing is a pegasus.
What a great exhibit to share with all of us, Katherine. Thanks for sharing that.
Mary, comments are turned off on your Overcoming Adversity post!
Congrats on your accomplishments last week, and for not taking crap from anyone in your writing business. It’s a great philosophy to have. That horse drawing is amazing!
Great post; this definitely chimes with me. There are a few areas of my writing life I need to be a load more assertive about. Time I was…